


Hopeless Romantic

by jhoom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dry Humping, Kid!Cas, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Two Person Love Triangle, former dean/aaron, implied bottom!dean, kid!Dean, virgin!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhoom/pseuds/jhoom
Summary: Dean is forever hung up on the boy he met at the state fair when he was a kid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of the ideas I had thought about using for the destieldrabbledaily's 30k fic contest... and looking at the word count, it's probably good that I didn't pick this one. I'm guessing two chapters, but I'm not committing to that since I am *terrible* at estimating story length. Like seriously, it's bad.
> 
> Keep in mind as you go through that this *is* a destiel fic. It will be fluffy and prbly angsty for a bit. 
> 
> Come visit me on tumblr [@jhoomwrites](http://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com)

Dean was, for better or worse, a hopeless romantic.  Just ask any of the guys or girls he’s dated over the years, and they’d be all too happy to talk about the grand gestures, the surprise weekend road trips, the rose petals on the bed, the way too many chocolates for Valentine’s Day… Honestly, the list goes on and on.  But as Dean will point out, all that stuff does is make him _romantic_.  The _hopeless_ part came long before that.

Because he’s friggin twenty-eight years old, hasn’t had a relationship last longer than six months, and is in love with someone he met when he was nine years old.  Jesus fucking Christ, he’s a mess.

* * *

 

\- - - -

His parents had taken him to the state fair every year since he can remember.  Come late August, it drew in half the people in Kansas and several hundred from further out.  And man, did he love it.  From the animal displays to the farmer’s market, from the arcade area and the rides to the shows.  Dean had a blast and had practically screamed in delight when he found out his class was going on a field trip there.

The air was crisp with the first signs of fall as he got off the bus.  Jostled between his two best friends Benny and Jo, it was hard to find the patience to listen to their teacher’s directions.  Dinner in the main pavilion at 5.  Meet by the fry stand at 7 to go home.  Stay with your buddies.  Blah blah blah.

At nine years old and a seasoned veteran of the fair, Dean couldn’t be bothered with listening.  Instead he stood on his tip toes to see better, to try and get a better view of his first point of attack.  Maybe check out the roller coaster or get a candied apple or-

“Hellllllo, Earth to Dean!”  Jo waved her hand in front of him a few times to get his attention, and he grumpily pushed it away.

“What?”

“I wanna go play whack-a-mole.  You comin’?”

“Yeah, sure!”

The three ran off, zipping through the crowd to get to the arcade.  Their parents had very generously bestowed them each with a twenty dollar bill, and they would’ve gladly blown it all on games if Dean hadn’t warned them to get a wristband for the rides first.  

“They cost _twelve dollars_ , Dean!” Jo hissed as she tried to pull the boys out of line and back toward the arcade.

“Yeah, but you can ride all the rides as much as you want!”

“He’s got a point, cherie.”  

Jo pouted and kicked at the ground but eventually gave in.  With only eight dollars to their names, they quickly blew through it on game after game.  At the duck pond game, Benny managed to win a large foam duck.  He stared at it blankly before wordlessly offering it to Jo.  Jo blushed so badly Dean had to turn away to keep from laughing (not that it stopped him, but it was the best he could do).

They went another hour without any of them managing to win anything, but then Dean got lucky at the shooting range and got to choose between a stuffed teddy bear and a bee.  

“Uh, the bee?  I guess?”

“You gonna give that to me?”  Jo bat her eyes at him, cuddling her foam duck to her cheek.

“Ugh, _no_.  I’d rather give it to Benny than you.”

She stuck her tongue out and then skipped off to where Benny was trying his luck at the ring toss.  He watched her go, kind of annoyed he was stuck carrying around a stuffed bee because _god_ was that embarrassing.  Even if he was a tad bit proud he won something.

As Dean stalked off to rejoin his friends, the sound of crying caught his attention.  Knowing damn well the fair was too fun of a place for anyone to be crying, he followed the sound to behind a vending machine.  A kid sat there, around Dean’s age, crumpled in on himself and sobbing into the sleeves of his sweater.  

“Hey, you alright?”  He knelt down next to the kid, hand reaching out tentatively to pat his shoulder.  When he made contact, the kid jumped, completely surprised to see someone there.

The boy’s head shot up to reveal tear streaked cheeks, a runny nose, and probably the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen in his entire life.  Holy cow were they pretty.  He didn’t say anything, just sniffled a few more times and looked warily at Dean.

“What’s wrong?  You hurt?”

“No,” the boy whispered.  He wiped his nose on his sleeve and shook his head.  “I… I lost my group.  I’m worried they’ll leave without me.”

“Oh.”  Dean frowned.  “How you gonna find them hiding back here?”

“I already looked everywhere!” the kid said desperately, more tears threatening to spill.  “I don’t know where else to look and I.. I…”  Then he started crying again, face buried in his sleeves.  

“It’s okay.”  He rubbed the kid’s back like his mom did for him when he was upset.  The boy looked up at him helplessly.  “Want me to help you look?  I come here all the time, I bet I could help you find them.”

“Really?” the boy asked.  The tears somehow made the blue of his eyes stand out even more.  

“Yeah, of course.”  He offered a hand.  The boy looked at it for a moment before accepting, letting Dean pull him to his feet.  They dusted themselves off and then started back towards the crowds, hands still connected.  “Where did you last see your friends?”

They wound their way through the fair, starting at the parking lot and following the path to the show animals.  The boy didn’t see anyone he recognizes, so they keep going.  Soon they’re back at the arcade and the poor kid looks even more forlorn than before.  

“Hey, I gotta idea!”  The boy turned to look at him as he spoke, tracking the way his lips moved as he speaks.  Huh, no one’s really ever given Dean that much attention before.  “Why don’t we go on the ferris wheel!  Maybe we can see them or something?”

The boy’s eyes darted to the large ferris wheel then back to Dean’s face, brow crinkling in worry.  “Are you sure?  It’s very high and what if I _still_ can’t find them-”

“Hey, I know it’s high and scary and stuff, but we can try it out, right?  I’ll go with you.”

He bit his lip, looking back to the looming metal structure.  He sighed before squaring his shoulders and saying, “Okay.  Let’s do it.”

They wove through the crowds and got in line.  When it was their turn to get in, the boy became flustered as his hands went through his pockets.  “I don’t have any more tickets-”

“‘s okay.”  Dean pulled out his last dollar and handed it to the attendant.  

The two climbed into the shaky cart and took a seat at far ends of the bench.  Dean couldn’t remember letting go of the boy’s hand, but he now realized he didn’t like how empty his own felt.  Oh well, holding hands with another boy was weird, right?  

They moved bit by bit as the wheel filled up with people, slowly making their way to the top.  Each time the gears clinked into gear and moved them higher, the other boy gripped the edges of the cart harder.  At one point, only one spot from the top, he even squeezed his eyes shut and started to tremble slightly.

“Hey, you’re not even looking!”  The boy didn’t react, just kept holding the bars until his knuckles turned white.  Dean slid over in his seat (very carefully, of course - he wasn’t exactly a fan of heights either) and put his hand on the other boy’s arm.  He didn’t jump this time, but he did peek out from behind his lashes.  “You don’t have to be scared.  I’m here with you.”

The boy nodded jerkily but wouldn’t loosen his grip.  

“Oh!”  Dean lifted up the stuffed bee, nearly forgotten in his quest to help the other boy find his friends.  “Maybe this’ll help!  I won it earlier,” he bragged but handed it over.  “Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

Finger by finger, the boy relaxed his death grip on the ride and reached to accept the small bee.  “Thank you.”  

The ride lurched up to the peak, but this time neither boy was worried about it.  Once there, Dean started helping to look for the boy’s group.  Not that he had any idea what he was looking for, but he didn’t want to feel useless while his new friend scanned the throngs of people below.  As they came down the other side bit by bit, they continued looking but the other boy huffs in frustration when he saw no one familiar.

“This was stupid,” he muttered, though Dean noticed how he strokes the bee’s wings.  

“It’s not stupid, at least we tried,” Dean offered back.  The boy nodded, black hair bouncing with the movement and Dean would always remember that as the first time he ever thought that another boy was cute.  

When the ferris wheel started its smooth rounds, the boys sat back and enjoy the ride.  They actually talked a bit, and Dean learned that the other boy liked reading and lived with his dad and older brother.  Dean talked a bit about his own parents and brother, laughed as he talked about the pranks he’s pulled with his friends, and in general probably had the best time he’s ever had at the fair.

He was actually disappointed when the ride ended, fear of heights and worry about the boy’s missing friends momentarily forgotten.  But he put on a brave face and was about to offer more help when they’re interrupted by loud shouting.

“Castiel!   _There_ you are!”

Dean jumped and looked, and the other boy followed his gaze to see a very angry looking woman storming towards them.  

“Castiel, you come here _this instant_!”

“Ms. Naomi!”  The boy sounded both relieved and terrified, but he did start walking towards the woman.

“We have been looking _everywhere_ for you, and here you are gallivanting with this… _hoodlum._ ”

“Hey!” Dean shouted reflexively.  He had no idea what a hoodlum is, but it didn’t sound good.

She ignored him completely, reaching out to grab the boy’s arm.  (Castiel, his name was Castiel.)  “The buses are leaving.  You’ve held up the whole class with your shenanigans!”  And then she was walking away and pulling Castiel with her.  

“Wait!” Dean shouted after them, taking a few steps but his legs weren’t long enough to keep up with the woman’s stride.  

“What’s your name?” Castiel yelled back, struggling to slow down the woman and digging his heels into the ground.

“Dean!”

“What?”

He cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed, “I’m Dean!”

A large group of people cut between them, stopping Dean’s pursuit and blocking Castiel from view.  When he managed to push through them, there was no trace of them.  “Castiel!  Castiel!”  He ran forward, trying to find him.  “Cas!   _Cas!_ ”

“Dean!”  

His ears perked up and his heart skipped a beat, but when he followed the voice it lead him right to Benny and Jo.  “Dean!  Where have you _been_?  You nearly missed dinner!”

“I did?”  Now that he thought about it, he was kind of hungry.  “I was just helping someone who got lost.”

“Okay, well, Mr. Singer is gonna tan our hides if we don’t get to the pavilion soon.”  

“Yeah, yeah okay.”  They each took one of his arms and dragged him away.

\- - - -

“You broke up with Aaron?” Benny asked flatly.  “Why?”

“I dunno,” Dean shrugged dismissively and kept fiddling with his phone.  “Wasn’t going anywhere.”

Gabriel appeared at their table, beers in hand.  “Which one’s Aaron again?”

“Jewish guy with a beard,” Benny clarified.

“Gotcha.”  He slid a beer across to Dean, the foam sloshing over the table top.  “And why wasn’t it going anywhere?”

Again Dean shrugged.  

“Brother, help us out.  Something happen?”

Eyes determinedly fixed on his drink, he muttered, “He asked me to move in with him.”

Benny and Gabriel share a look as though to figure out which one of them should address that revelation.  Gabriel apparently lost.  “Sounds to me like it _was_ going somewhere and you freaked and bailed on him, kiddo.”

“I did _not_ freak out-”

“You got another word for it?”

“I just…  Ugh!”  He ran his fingers through his hair and then chugged a good third of the beer.  “Look, he asked if I would move in with him and I realized things weren’t going anywhere because I don’t feel _that way_ about him.  Yeah he’s fun and we get along, but I ain’t gonna marry the guy so why waste more time?”

“Ouch.”  

“You’re not still hung up on that boy, are you?” Benny asked knowingly.

“Boy?  What boy?”  Neither Benny nor Dean offered more so Gabriel sucked in a huge breath and started with a chant of, “Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me-”

“Jesus, shut the fuck up, would you?” Dean hissed and kicked him under the table.  Gabriel was fun and all, probably the most fun of his co-workers but holy hell could he be annoying when he got his hands on some juicy gossip.  “Don’t say anything,” he glared warningly at Benny.

“I don’t got much to say.  Dean here’s had a crush on some boy he met going on what, twelve years ago?  Says he doesn’t, but every time he’s in a relationship and it gets to the point where you gotta actually _commit_ , and he backs out.”

“Cuz of some kid you met when you were ten?”

“Nine,” Dean corrected, then winced when he realized that was pretty much an admission.  “And no.  I don’t even know who he was, okay?  I just… I dunno.  I only knew the guy like, one day and I felt more comfortable with him than I have with anyone else since.  And if I can’t be that comfortable with someone I’ve been dating for _months_ , then how could that possibly be a relationship that’s going anywhere?”

Gabriel whistled and made a _yikes_ face.  “You raise an interesting point, Deano, but maybe you should set the bar a little lower.”  Dean rolled his eyes but didn’t comment.  “Hey!  Speaking of low bars, why don’t you go on a date with my kid brother.  He’s not fall-in-love-with-him-when-you’re-nine-and-fuck-up-all-future-relationships good, but he ain’t half bad.  Maybe be a good rebound after this Aaron guy so you can get your head back in the game.”

Benny looked at him incredulously.  “You’d knowingly hook up your brother with Dean just to be a rebound?” 

“Kid’s like, never been on a date.  He needs the practice.  And apparently Dean’s not gonna mean anything serious with it, so I don’t have to go all protective older brother or anything.”

“I’m like twice your size, dude, what the fuck could you possibly do to me?”

“I know people,” he said ominously.  “So you up for dating by brother or what?”

“You gonna shut up about it til I do go out with him?”

“Most definitely not.”

“Ugh, _fine_ , but under strong protest.”  He and Gabriel clinked beer bottles in agreement.  “What’s the guy’s name, anyway?”

“Jimmy.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i know, there are a million ways i could take the story from here... but this is the one i'd always intended (even though there are some juicy alternatives out there - and honestly, if anyone wanted to write an alternate version that ended up being deanjimstiel or something, i would be super okay with that and read the hell out of it... but i personally will not be writing that bc i have no time lol)
> 
> reminder that this is in fact a destiel fic ^-^

Gabriel set the whole thing up.  Table for two at a fancy restaurant then tickets to a baseball game.  The way he waggled his eyebrows and added, “And whatever else you two kids get into after that is up to you,” made Dean want to punch him in the face.

And yeah, this was totally a rebound and really felt like he was doing Gabriel a favor more than anything else, but Dean’s not an ass.  He spent the time to pick out a nice shirt and decent pair of pants, even settled on wearing a tie with minimal complaining.  Because as everyone knew, Dean was still a hopeless romantic.  

If only he could do something about the hopeless part.

The hostess lead through the cluttered tables to a small back room with dim lighting.  There were fewer tables here, more room and quiet piano music drifting in from the lounge.  Not bad, truth be told.  Gabriel might’ve had his flaws but apparently the man could organize a decent date.  

Dean figured he arrived first, but the hostess brought him straight to an already occupied table.  The man stood up and held out his hand for Dean to shake (though not before wiping them on his pants under the table).  And fuck if looking into those blue eye eyes isn’t like getting punched in the gut.

He’s dreamt about swimming in those eyes for over a damn decade, radiant and perfect and maybe even better than he remembered-

But that was when the dream shattered.  Because this couldn’t be Castiel, the lost boy at the state fair.  This was Jimmy, Gabriel’s younger brother.  Handsome guy, yes, but not the one Dean may or may not have been looking for since he was nine friggin years old.

Try as he might, he was fairly certain his disappointment showed on his face.

“I’m Jimmy, Gabriel’s brother.”

“Nice to meet you.”  Dean congratulated himself on at least not _sounding_ like he’d already written off this date.  “I’m Dean.  I work with Gabe.”

The two took their seats and Dean grit his teeth.  He silently counted to five, let himself have that time to be bitter about this turn of events (why, _why_ did he always get his hopes up like this?), then ignored the lump in his throat and forced a smile that was half genuine.  

“So, how you like Kansas City?”

The small talk didn’t last long, interrupted by the waiter and then by the arrival of their drinks, but it didn’t feel awkward.  Hell, it went pretty well.  Jimmy was kind of awkward, but the more Dean relaxed and started laughing at his jokes, the more he opened up.  And though he _knew_ it was the romantic in him, he couldn’t dismiss how well they _connected_ talking about all the silly stuff.  

Dinner was fucking perfect.  The baseball game wasn’t half bad, but it turned out that was Gabriel messing with his brother.  Jimmy didn’t know anything about sports, so Dean spent most of the time either explaining the game or ignoring it completely to talk about their respective jobs and friends.  

And gentleman that he was, Dean escorted Jimmy up to his apartment door.  Lingered outside and gave him a kiss on the threshold before wishing him good night and going home.

Fuck if he wasn’t already smitten with the guy.

\- - - -

“Things going well with Jimmy?” Benny asked, flipping through channels on Dean’s tv.  

“Yeah.  They’re actually kind of great.”  They’d been going out for a few months now.  Actually, a lot of months.  Nearly seven, making this officially the longest relationship he’d ever been in.  He hadn’t even noticed how much time had gone by, too lost in that happy feeling he got in his chest whenever he spent time with Jimmy.  

Which freaked him out, of course.

“Uh oh.  I know that tone.”  He turned off the tv and put the remote on the coffee table, all his attention now on Dean.  “What’s the problem, brother?”

“There’s no problem.  Did I say there was a problem? I’m problemless, man, I swear.”  Benny gave him a hard look.  “Okay, fine, there’s like… the _possibility_ of a problem.  But it’s all in my head and you’re just gonna give me shit.”

“If it’s about that boy from the carnival, then yeah, I’m gonna give you shit, but go on.”

Dean whined wordlessly before collapsing onto the couch.  “It’s just…  I like the guy.  A _lot_.  But…  I know you’re just gonna call me a hopeless romantic, but I felt something when I met that kid all those years ago.  And yeah, maybe what I have with Jimmy is like… really really close to that.  Identical even, or at least the grown up equivalent of it.  But I can’t get the other guy out of my head.”  

“That’s… wow, brother.”  Benny whistled and then pat his shoulder in sympathy.  “Sounds like you got something really special with Jimmy.  And maybe you could’ve had something special with that other boy if circumstances were different.  But you really gonna put the real thing on hold for the slim chance there’s someone else out there?”

He stared up at the ceiling.  Benny was right, of course.  He’d said it to himself a million times.  Before, it’d been easy to break things off because his previous and boyfriends hadn’t meant this much to him.  Internally he’d been dancing around the L word for a while now, thinking it and feeling it but too terrified to say it because then it’d be _real_.  And that meant letting go of Castiel and the little piece of his heart the blue-eyed boy had carved out for himself when they met.  

And worst of all, there was this guilty part of him that worried he only cared about Jimmy because of the superficial ways he reminded him of Castiel.  The hair and eyes.  The way he’d sometimes watch his lips move when he spoke.  Hell, if Jimmy were scared of heights he’d pretty much _be_ Castiel (or at least what little Dean knew about the kid).  

No matter how much the guilt clawed at him, though, he knew that wasn’t all there was too it.  There was Jimmy’s dry sense of humor, how friggin smart he was, his kindness and confidence, how comfortable Dean felt being around him.  Honestly, there wasn’t a single thing wrong with Jimmy.

Except that he wasn’t Cas.

“So,” Benny interrupted his meltdown.  “What you gonna do?”

He took a deep breath and another.  Forced himself to lock away whatever it was he felt for Castiel, whatever dreams and hopes he’d harbored for over a decade, secret fantasies about running into him again.  He was done pining over a fantasy.  A future with Castiel was a lovely _idea_ , but he couldn’t hide behind it forever.  Jimmy was here and real and cared about Dean.  

“I’m gonna ask Jimmy to move in with me.”

“Hot damn, looks like Jo owes me twenty bucks.”

His head snaps to glare at his best friend.  “You two _bet_ on my love life?  We’re friends, and one of you was actively rooting against me?”

Benny’s hands came up defensively.  “Neither of us was rooting against you, brother.  We were rooting for you to be happy in different ways, is all.”  When Dean looked mollified, he added, “Gabriel was in on it to.  That’s his own _brother_.”

“What’d he bet on?”

“He lost months ago when it wasn’t just a fling.”  Before Dean could get upset at the very _notion_ that Jimmy was just a fling, Benny stopped him.  “Nothing against Jimmy or you, he was just playin’ the odds.  Jimmy’s never really dated anyone and you were on the rebound.  Doesn’t mean he didn’t _want_ y’all to hit it off, but wasn’t sure it’d work out for ya.”

“Okay, we’re gonna circle back to you guys _betting_ on my life _at all_.  But right now I’m going to my boyfriend’s place to ask him to move in with me, so you better be out of here by the time I get back.”

“Touchy,” he griped, but the smile on his face belied the annoyance.  “Go get ‘em then.”

\- - - -

He knocked on Jimmy’s apartment door, only then realizing he didn’t have a plan.  But the door swung open before he could think it through.  Oh well, he’d wing it.  

“Hey babe.”  He gave him a quick peck on the lips before stepping inside.  “You busy?”

“No, I was just making some tea.  Would you like some?”

“Yeah, why not.”  

They walked into the kitchen, Dean taking a seat on a stool while Jimmy got a second mug ready.  “What brings you over so late?”

“What, you don’t want me here?” he teased.  Jimmy shot him an unimpressed look as the teapot started to whistle.  “Just wanted to see you.  And uh, talk to you about something.”

“Anything bad?” he asked as he poured the hot water.  

“Course not.  At least, I don’t think it’s bad.  I really hope it isn’t bad, because that would suck if it were-”

“Dean, you’re babbling.”  

That instantly shut him up and he took a few deep, calming breaths.  “Okay, so it’s not anything bad.  I was just thinking, you know, that you’ve been spending a lot of time at my place lately so I thought- and feel free to say no or whatever- but I thought-”

Jimmy cut in.  “What type of tea would you like?”  

“What?  Oh, uh, whatever you’re having I guess.”  He watched Jimmy pull two teabags from the Earl Grey box.  “You interrupting me on purpose?”

“Maybe.”  And Dean could hear the smile even if he couldn’t see his face.  “But go on.”

“So I was just thinking that maybe we could move in together.  If you wanted, of course.  And since you got like, a toothbrush and stuff at my place, seemed easier to move into my place.  Or we could move in here. Or like, find a new place if you wanted…”  

Jimmy fiddled with the edge of his cup, spinning it a few times as he dunked the tea bag in.  “Well, you know I’ve never been this serious with anyone before.  I know we haven’t uh…” he paused, leaving it unsaid.  No, they hadn’t had sex yet.  

“Jimmy, c’mon, you know I don’t care about that-”

“Yes, well,” he continued, clearly embarrassed.  “The most we’ve done is literally sleep together, and while that is a form of intimacy, I don’t know if that’s something that we should talk about first before making a commitment like moving in together…”

“Seriously, man, I’m crazy about you.  I know you’ve never been with anyone before, and I’m fine waiting.  I’ll say it as many times as I need to to make sure you hear me on that, too.  But I like spending time with you and waking up next to you and basically having you around as much as I can, so I’d really like it if we lived together so I could have that every day.  It’s up to you, obviously, but I’m completely on board.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”  His heart skipped a beat.

He removed the tea bag and took a sip, somehow not scalding himself on the steaming drink.  “I’m very much enamored with you too, Dean.  I enjoy our time together, and I think I’d enjoy living with you.  My favorite days are when I wake up in your apartment and get to have breakfast with you.  Or get to fall asleep in your bed.  Or really, any day that I get to spend with you, if I’m being perfectly honest.”

A grin had been spreading across Dean’s face as he listened, chest tightening.  “That kinda sounds like a yes to me.”

“Yes, Dean.  I’d love to move in with you.”

He did his best it ignore how happy the word _love_ made him.  “Awesome.”  Matching smiles lit up their faces as they stared at each other.  Eventually Jimmy blinked and broke the spell.

“You should drink your tea before it gets too cold.”  Dean took a sip and flinched a little at the taste.  Unless it was kind of fruit tea, it was a struggle for him to drink it.  “You want anything in your tea?” Jimmy asked knowingly.  

His instinct was to say no, but then he figured what the hell.  “Yeah, sure.  You got sugar or something?”  

Jimmy rummaged through the cupboard.  “Looks like I’m out of sugar.  Honey okay?”

“Sure.”  

And then there was this bee shaped container of honey being handed to him.  As soon as he lay eyes on it, he couldn’t help the way his face contorted into a grimace before he could smooth it out.  Because bees and Castiel would forever be linked in Dean’s mind, and of fucking _course_ his drama had to rear it’s head _now_.  Apparently deciding to move on was a bit different than _actually_ moving on, because he couldn’t ignore the pang he felt.  

Jimmy, thankfully, only caught the tail end of the look.  “Are you alright?”

“Yeah yeah.  I uh, I burnt my tongue a bit.”  All things considered, he thought he played it off pretty well.  

It wasn’t that the whole Castiel thing was a secret.  Jimmy _knew_ , on some level, that Dean had been hung up on some guy for a while.  They never talked specifics, but they’d danced around the topic enough that Dean’d needed to say _something_.  Even if it was the bare details.  

He met someone, fell hard and fast for him, and it didn’t work out.  At Jimmy’s surprised indignation that _anyone_ could have turned down Dean, he’d laughed it off and explained that the guy hadn’t even known.  And Jimmy, saint that he was, hadn’t pushed for more details.  He’d simply kissed Dean on the forehead and admitted his selfish pleasure at the fact since it allowed him to date Dean himself.

It was comforting that Jimmy _understood_.  In a way that made Dean want to ask more, find out if maybe he wasn't the only one nursing a broken heart.  But Jimmy’d done him the favor of letting it go, so Dean did the same.  

They took their tea to the living room and talked about how they wanted to do things.  They agreed that Dean’s place was bigger and closer to their respective jobs, so it was the logical choice.  They’d start moving some of Jimmy’s things that weekend and plan a bigger move later on.  Their planning kept them up well into the night until they fell asleep, nestled against each other on the couch.  

Before Dean drifted off, he realized he was _happy_.  That he’d started shifting all those romantic ideas he’d held onto from the hopeless category and now, with a little luck, he’d have an amazing future with a man he loved cared about.

Sure, it wasn’t the future he’d secretly longed for, but it was a damn fine one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter for sures. i'll uh prbly be upping the rating though for smutty reasons...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaay, it's finished! I really wasn't expecting this story to need three parts, but considering how it went I think it ended up the right length ;) I probably could have made it shorter, cut out things that aren't necessary but kind of fun (i.e. the gabe stuff in the second chapter), but oh well. 
> 
> I added the tag "two person love triangle" which I didn't know was the name for this trope, but recently found that out and am so excited to hopefully find other stories that use it ^-^

Dean’s night was torn between restful sleep and strange dreams of a boy with blue eyes waving good-bye as he disappeared into the sky on a ferris wheel.  

Fucking hell.

He woke with a start, unsure where he was for a moment until he noticed Jimmy’s solid weight leaning on him and the lumpy throw pillow propping him up.  His heart swelled and the lingering doubts and regrets that might have surfaced during the night immediately vanished.  

Kissing Jimmy’s forehead, he carefully extracted himself from his boyfriend’s arms and went to go make them breakfast.

Initially he’d worried he’d get cold feet or have second thoughts about moving in with Jimmy, but he felt oddly calm.  He’d made the right decision and he couldn’t be more excited to see Jimmy’s things interspersed with his own.  This was good.  No, scratch that, this was friggin’ _awesome_.

He hummed to himself as he made omelettes, glad to see Jimmy didn’t have a whole lot in his fridge.  One less thing to worry about as they get this whole move underway.  

“Smells good.”  Jimmy yawned, rubbing guck out of his eyes.  He took a seat at the table and watched Dean cook.  “But you should be careful or I’ll expect this kind of treatment every day once I we live together.”

“You keep lookin’ that cute and I wouldn’t mind.”  He winked and looked up in time to see Jimmy’s pleased blush.  “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“I thought I could call in sick to work and we could spend the day packing.”

“Damn you move fast.”

Jimmy gave a half-shrug.  “I’m not suggesting we physically start taking things to your place, but it would be nice to de-clutter and figure out what I’m going to take with me and what’s staying.”

“Okay, I know I just gave you shit for going fast, but you’re like… gonna move _some_ of your stuff over today, right?  Cuz I kinda like the idea of seeing you in my bed every night and wouldn’t mind starting that trend ASAP.”

“Fine with me.”

While Jimmy took care of his work, Dean made a quick run to the store to get boxes.  He was practically giddy with excitement.  Fuck was he gone on this guy.  He’d never felt like this about anyone except-

 _No,_ he scolded himself.   _Don’t go there.  That’s stupid and you know it.  You weren’t in **love** with Cas, that’s fucking ridiculous.  You’re mourning the lost **potential**.  Get over yourself and do **not** do anything to fuck things up with Jimmy._

Pep talk officially given, Dean was able to keep himself from thinking about Castiel for the rest of the day.  He had the same dream that night, tucked in his bed as the little spoon with Jimmy breathing comfortably on the back of his neck, but he easily pushed it aside the next morning.  The pattern repeated for a few days.  Work, pack, sleep, dream.  But each morning the dream was fuzzier, less distressing to recall.  Soon he was sure it’d be gone altogether.  

Four days later and all that was left was Jimmy’s bedroom.  He’d already grabbed a bunch of clothes that first day, but they’d otherwise ignored the room.  Dean liked his bed with its memory foam and even Jimmy agreed it was nicer.  Bigger too (and yes, Dean waggled his eyebrows suggestively when he’d pointed that out).  

Dean grabbed a couple spare boxes and started down the small hallway.  “You comin’, babe?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he called from the kitchen.  “You go ahead and start packing up the books.”

“‘kay.”  He backed into the room, pushing the door open with his butt so he could balance the boxes.  He dropped them once he got inside and looked around the room, realizing it was his first time actually in here.  

Yeah, he’d seen the room, but only through the door as he glanced down the hallway.  Most of the time Jimmy spent the night at his place or they ended up on Jimmy’s couch, never making it to the bed.  Hell, they’d probably not make it to _his_ bed if he didn’t insist.  But the other man didn’t have the same attachment to a nice mattress.

He almost felt like an intruder, but he dismissed the thought.  It wasn’t as though Jimmy was purposely hiding anything, that much was clear, it’d just never worked out that he’d been back here.  

Taking the opportunity to get a little peak into Jimmy’s personality, he scanned the room.  The plain but tasteful decor - all clean lines and dark wood - wasn’t much different from the rest of the apartment.  There were a few black and white photographs, all nature stills, but no posters or family pictures.  The floor was a mess of discarded clothes, ones that were too dirty to consider packing, and a few crumbled towels.  

 _Guess Jimmy needs an introduction to a hamper_.  Hot as he was, Dean wasn’t going to live with a slob.  But if that was the worst habit Jimmy had, he was willing to call it a win.  

The bed was pushed into a corner, jutting out into the room at an angle.  It was the most risque decorating choice Dean had seen and honestly he kind of liked it.  It was very Jimmy.  Everything appearing ordinary at first glance, a few oddities hinting at the unique man underneath it all.  

A dark bedspread that was either gray or purple or navy (he couldn’t tell in the light and he loved the color ambiguity).  He marvelled at the fact that a man who left clothes all over the floor would make his bed, but nothing was out of place.  The blanket was perfectly centered, the pillows perfectly puffed, the stuffed bee perfectly centered against them.

He got about two steps to the small bookshelf, a dinky little Ikea thing that housed a dozen books and some magazines, when he nearly tripped over his feet and did a double take.  Dean abruptly detoured to the bed, snatching the poor stuffed animal and examining it with more care than a child’s toy could possibly warrant.

Worn yellow fabric was stretched threadbare.  The black stripes were almost completely faded and one of its antenna was missing.  It’d lost some stuffing over the years, too much material for how little fluff was left.  Whatever else he could say about it, the toy had clearly been well loved.  

And fuck if it wasn’t identical to the one he’d won all those years ago.

Which was impossible.  His mind playing tricks on him, like it had when he’d first seen Jimmy.  He was simply seeing more similarities than there could reasonably be.  

“Sorry about that, but I couldn’t find the bottle opener and thought you’d enjoy a beer.”

Dean’s head snapped up at the intrusion and he guiltily tried to hide the bee behind his back.  

“Oh, you found Buzzie.”  There was a hint of embarrassment there, but otherwise nothing to clue Dean in on _what the fuck was going on_.  He placed the two beers he’d brought onto the dresser and walked over.  

“Buzzie?”  His throat was dry and scratchy, but he forced the word out anyway.  When Jimmy reached out for the bee, Dean reluctantly handed it over.  

“Yes, he’s an old friend.”  The red tinge to his cheeks was undeniably adorable, but Dean had to ignore it.  

“Had him a long time?”

“Since I was a child.”  The look on his face couldn’t be described as anything other than fond and that somehow stung.  He gingerly placed the bee on his night table.  Once it was settled the way he liked, he looked back up at Dean.  “My class went on a field trip to the Kansas State Fair one year and I got separated from my group.  A boy helped me look for them and gave this to me.”

“And you kept it.  After all these years?” 

Jimmy looked vaguely uncomfortable as he shifted on his feet and avoided Dean’s eyes.  “I know it’s sentimental, but I was very scared and alone.  Well, the loneliness was a general state of being for me when I was young, but it was a lot worse that day.  And I liked I pretend I’d made a friend that day, even if I was never going to see him again.”  

“No,” Dean croaked.  “No no no,” he repeated.  “ _I_ gave that bee to a boy named Castiel at the fair twelve years ago.”

Jimmy’s eyes went wide.  Then he was springing forward to close the already scant room between them, crowding into Dean’s space as he backed Dean towards the bed and kissed him so hard their teeth clacked together and he could already feel his lips bruising.  Dean barely got a chance to kiss back when Jimmy was pulling away.

“I thought the eyes were similar.”  He broke off to kiss Dean again and then whispered against his lips.  “I honestly never thought it was possible I’d see you again.  Obviously I’d hoped.  But it was so unlikely, I gave up on the idea years ago-”

“ _Jimmy.”_  The force with which Dean said it shut him up pretty quickly.  He didn’t back away but he looked up at Dean through his lashes.  Damn were his eyes pretty when they were lust blown and- wait, _what_?  He took a deep breath to try and get back on track and figure out _what the actual fuck_ was happening.  “Your name is _Jimmy_.”

“Yes.”  He tried pushing Dean onto the bed, backed his knees up into it, but Dean stubbornly remained where he was.  Because that was _not_ an answer.  “My name is Castiel James Novak.”  

“Jimmy… Cas…  What the _hell_ man?”  But his words were swallowed by another kiss.  Jimmy (Cas?) gave a final push and Dean finally gave in and sank onto the bed.  “Need- more- of- an- answer,” he managed, each word punctuated by a kiss as Jimmy crawled into his lap.  

And holy fuck, by the way.  They’d made out before but Jimmy had always held back, too shy to push forward.  Dean, gentleman that he was, had let him decide the pace for the physical side of their relationship.  And now here he was getting hard with his very willing boyfriend kissing the hell out of him.  

“Seriously.”  He put a hand on Jimmy’s chest and gently held him back.  “I don’t know what’s going on right now.  How are you Castiel?”

He whined in frustration, even went so far as to pout, but when he saw Dean wouldn’t give in he sighed and answered.  “It’s my first name.  I… I got teased a lot in elementary school.  The other kids heard Gabe call me Cassie and it stuck and it was _awful_.  So when I changed schools for middle school, I decided to go by my middle name so that I wouldn’t have that problem.”

Dean buried his indignation that anyone had teased Jimmy enough that he’d be ashamed of his own name - hard to get mad at little kids and shit that happened forever ago - and starred.  His mouth hung open as he gaped at Jimmy.  At _Castiel_.  Jesus Christ this was a mind fuck.  

“Are you okay?”

He closed his mouth and nodded.  “Yeah.  I’m just… processing.”

“Okay, but can you process quicker so I can fuck you?”

He choked out a groan at that because on the one hand, abso-fucking-lutely, but on the other hand, this was waaaay too much to take in and-

 _Oh_.  Jimmy striped off his shirt and then dove back in, licking and biting Dean’s neck and that was definitely Jimmy’s cock rocking into him and yeah.  Dean was a weak enough man to admit he wasn’t going to be able to turn this down.  He’d wanted Castiel for so long.  Wanted Jimmy for months, too.  Fuck if he was going to stop this now that he could have _both_ of them.  

Dean fell back onto the bed and let Jimmy take over.  It was hands everywhere, it was alternating soft kisses and piercing bites, it was fumbling to get their pants open even as neither of them could stop thrusting into each other.  Jimmy barely got their flies undone before they gave up on anything more and simply gave in, rutting and gasping.  

Jimmy came first, choking out a cry of Dean’s name before his hips stuttered to a stop.  Dean held him close, kissed him and chased his own release.  When he did come, arching into Jimmy, he sobbed in relief because damn had this moment a long time in the making.  “Castiel, oh fuck, Cas,” he whined into the crook of his neck until the aftershocks passed.  They collapsed onto each other, rolling so they were on their sides but limbs still intertwined.

“Did we just have sex?” Jimmy asked, a dazed look in his eyes.  

“No.”  Dean grimaced at the feeling of come drying in his pants.  “Ugh, yes.”  He reached down to try and shift his boxers into a more comfortable arrangement, but gave up pretty quickly when the drying come pulled at his hair.  “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you nice and proper next time,” he said absentmindedly as he pat Jimmy’s back.  Cas’ back.  Fuck that was still confusing as hell.

“Yes, preferably not in front of Buzzie, either.  Poor guy is likely traumatized by our display.”

“Not gonna lie, I’m not even sorry.”  He laughed and kissed Jimmy’s nose.  Cas’ nose.   _Fuck._ “What do I call you now?  Jimstiel?  Casmy?”

“Whatever you want, though preferable neither of those.  Those are just awful.  I haven’t gone by Castiel in years, but I’ll admit I liked the sound of you saying it when you orgasmed.”

He rolled his eyes but didn’t comment on the word choice.  Instead he focused on taking in this moment, the moment that would probably break him if he thought about it too closely.  Because it was too perfect, too much like a dream come true.

Only when he noticed tears pooling at the corner of Cas’ eyes, unshed, did he find his voice again.  “Hey hey hey, babe, what’s wrong?” he asked as he wiped them away.

“I never thought…”  A full body shudder interrupted him.  He visibly braced himself before trying again.  “I think I fell in love with you that day.  I didn’t realize it at the time, obviously.  I was too young to realize it til later.  But I was never interested in anyone else because they weren’t you.  And then it _was_ you.  Didn’t know, wish I’d known, but it was you and I couldn’t help it.  Falling for you again.  I just-”  This time the tears fell freely.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay.  I got you.”  He kissed the tears away.  And because he couldn’t look at Cas while he said this, he buried his face in Cas’ hair as he spoke.  “I… I love you too, Cas.  Fuck, I’ve been so hopelessly in love with you for so long that no one else has ever measured up.  But then it was you, and fuck if you weren’t everything I could have ever wanted.  I love you, Jimmy.  I love you so fucking much.”

Jimmy’s hands came up to pull Dean back.  Cradling his cheeks, he stared into Dean’s eyes like he’d never seen them before.  “I can’t believe I didn’t know the first time I laid eyes on you,” he whispered reverently.

“Me neither, except you know, I had no idea what your real name was.”  He started to get up, kissing Cas one last time before extracting himself and moving towards the dresser.  Sure, there weren’t a lot of clothes left, but he was pretty sure he could find something.  

Now that he thought about it, he really couldn’t understand out how they didn’t figure it out sooner.  “Why didn’t you say something, man?”  He grabbed a clean pair of boxers and started to change.  “I’m not mad or anything, just curious.  You knew my name was Dean-”

“I uh…”  Jimmy coughed from where he sat on the edge of the bed.  “I never _heard_ what your name was, and I couldn’t read your lips because you were too far away, there were too many people-”

“Wait, back up.”  He ignored the pang he felt when Cas flinched at his tone and mentally checked himself to reel it in.  It wasn’t as though Dean was actually upset about any of this (how could he be, given how well things had turned out?), and he didn’t want to give that impression at all.  But seriously was he confused.  “What’s this about reading lips?”

He frowned for a moment, then realization dawned on Jimmy’s face.  “Oh, I suppose it wouldn’t have come up.  I was born with poor hearing.  It was another reason I was mercilessly teased as a child.  I learned to read lips very young, but it didn’t stop the other children from noticing I couldn’t hear them if they weren’t loud or directly in front of me.  I’m pretty sure that my group on that field trip purposely ditched me-”

“Cas!”  He didn’t mean to say it, but the name was pulled from him involuntarily at the thought that anyone could’ve intentionally hurt the man in front of him.  But Jimmy took it as a redirection.

“Yes, well, water under the bridge.  About the same time I started going by Jimmy, I had cochlear implants put in.  I felt like a completely different person.  More confident, less awkward, an all around improvement-”

“Dammit, Jimmy,” Dean hissed and and crossed the room to kneel in front of him.  “Don’t talk like you were _broken_ before.  You were fucking perfect.  You’re still fucking perfect, as far as I’m concerned and I will personally kick the ass of anyone who says differently.  Even if it’s you.”

Jimmy seemed genuinely surprised at the vehemence of Dean’s declaration, but it faded quickly.  “Have I mentioned that I’m hopelessly in love with you, Dean Winchester?”

“You might’ve.  Wouldn’t hurt to hear it a few more times.”

They didn’t get a whole lot more packing done that night.  In the morning on the way to Dean’s ( _their_ ) apartment, they made a quick stop.  When they invited their friends over for a housewarming party that night, they proudly showed off their shared apartment.  As well as their identical rings, the inside of Dean’s engraved with a ferris wheel, Cas’ with a bee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know if the sex stuff was necessary (I went back and forth on whether or not to include it), but I kinda like the idea of them being so overcome with surprise and happiness that it just happens. Thoughts on if it worked?
> 
> I also wasn't sure about the hearing thing, either. I feel like it's unnecessary the way it ended up, but I'd kind of laid the ground work for it so I decided to keep it in *shrugs*
> 
> And because I have too much time, here are some bonus scenes
> 
>  
> 
> **bonus scene**
> 
>  
> 
> dean: GABE why didn’t you tell me your brother’s name was castiel?
> 
> gabe: *shrugs* last time i called him cassie he bit me. got infected and everything. kinda stopped calling him castiel after that.
> 
> dean: okay, weird and we might circle back to that later. but seriously dude, could’ve saved everyone a lot of trouble if you’d friggin told me
> 
> gabe: YOU’VE BEEN DATING HIM FOR LIKE SEVEN MONTHS YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIS REAL NAME DO NOT PUT THIS SHIT ON ME
> 
> dean: okay fair point fair point but have you also considered FUCK YOU GABRIEL I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOUR BROTHER FOR YEARS AND YOU NEEDLESSLY MADE THIS MORE COMPLICATED
> 
> gabe: THERE’D BE NO PLOT IF I HAD TOLD YOU, C’MON DEAN
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **alternate scene for how dean found out**
> 
>  
> 
> dean and cas: *having sex*
> 
> dean: oh fuck yeah, so good… c’mon cas, give it to me
> 
> cas: … *mildly thrown off*
> 
> dean: harder, jimmy, want it harder
> 
> cas: … dean, could you stick to one of my names pls you’re confusing me
> 
> dean: ……. wat
> 
> cas: just call me cas or jimmy, pls. like, pick one and stick with it.
> 
> dean: ……….… why are you okay with me calling you cas?
> 
> cas: …………. why would i not be?? it’s a shortened version of my first name?? 
> 
> dean: …………………………………………… wat


End file.
